iDon't Want Your Pity
by Bezelburr
Summary: Sam has to go to the dentist again, but this time Freddie has to take her. Once again Sam accidentally reveals a secret that no one is prepared to hear. Possible Seddie later.
1. Chapter 1: iDon't Want to Go Home

My first iCarly fic! I noticed a few of these fics try to guess what Sam's home life must be like. Since we're all just guessing at this point, I thought I'd share my own idea of what it must be like. There might be some Seddie later on, but I haven't decided yet. Rated T for just in case, but I'm going to try not to use any cursing.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own iCarly, I'm just borrowing the characters!

***

Sam had to go to the dentist, again. But this time Carly was busy with a big project for school. Using her "please, for me?" tactic, Freddie was roped into taking Sam. Neither of them were happy about this. The last time this happened, she told Carly about their kiss. Who knows what she might reveal this time? Sam silently hoped her mouth would swell so she wouldn't be able to speak. Freddie just wondered why her mother couldn't just take her. In fact, now that he thought of it, he'd never really seen her mother. Just what did this woman do for a living that she couldn't take her own daughter to the dentist?

After the procedure, Freddie didn't let Sam linger too long in her giddy state, afraid he'd hear a secret he didn't want to know. On the way out she mumbled something along the lines of the dentist stealing her smile and wallet, but was thankful he didn't steal her thumb this time.

Freddie sat her down on the bench at the bus stop.

"Let's get you home."

She gasped dramatically, then laughed at her own reaction.

"Nah, let's go to Carly's."

"She's busy right now, Sam."

"Oh. Then let's go to the Groovy Smoothie!"

"The dentist said no food for drink for a few hours. You need to go home and get some rest."

For a moment, he swore she was going to cry, but instead she just nodded her head and watched the traffic for the bus.

The drugs seemed to be wearing heavy on her, seeing as she could barely keep her eyes open. She stopped dead in her tracks just as they made it to the staircase that led to her tiny apartment.

"Hey, let's go somewhere that actually has food, I'm hungry."

"No, Sam. For the last time, you need to rest!"

Freddie had to practically drag her up the stairs. It wasn't that she was resisting, she just seemed to go limp. He wasn't sure if it was the drugs or that she really didn't want to go home. He figured it was both.

"Hand me your keys, I'll unlock the door for you."

She gave him a look that he supposed was to be an attempt of a glare. Then she turned the nob and the door flew open with ease. Apparently, Freddie thought, they didn't lock the door.

Sam's mother was sitting on the couch, watching t.v. with a hypnotic stare. So hypnotized that she didn't even bother to look in their direction, like she didn't even notice the arrival of her daughter or the fact that she had to use a boy as support as she walked.

Sam seemed to return this favor to her, not acknowledging her own mother as they made their way to her bedroom.

Freddie could only hold his breath when her bedroom door opened. The room was so... bare. No posters, no photos, nothing that showed any personality what so ever. Just two really ratty mattresses stacked on top of each other. A single pillow and a tiny blanket were thrown on top. A small table was within arms reach of the mattresses with just a bag of beef jerky on it.

They both sat on her bed. Unsure of what to say, Freddie blurted out the first courtesy that popped into his head.

"...Your mom seems nice?"

Sam just scoffed at this.

"Yeah, so nice. That's why we got such a wonderful greeting from her."

Freddie didn't respond. He didn't even look at her.

"...She hates me." Sam whispered.

This time Freddie looked at her, shocked to see such genuine sadness.

"I'm sure that's not true. I'm sure your mom loves you."

"No, she's said it before. That she hates me."

"But... why?"

"Said Melanie and me were the reason Dad left."

"Wait, Melanie actually exists?"

"Yes you nitwit! She said that after we were born, the world turned gray and she lost all motivation. Then Dad left."

"Where did he leave to?" Sam just shrugged.

"Said he didn't want us anymore. And the only reason she kept us around was for the childcare money, though I've never seen her spend it on us. Well, except for Melanie's school. She said she deserved it, saying that Melanie was at least trying to atone for what she helped cause.

Silence enveloped the room. Freddie never felt such a loss of words before. But then Sam cupped her cheek and moaned softly. He reached into his pocket and revealed a small bottle of pills.

"Take two every four hours. Now get some sleep."

This time she didn't protest. She just swallowed the pills, lay down, and closed her eyes. Freddie used this opportunity to get a better look at the supposed loveless mother. The entranced woman never even seemed to notice the accusing eyes staring at her. And all he could wonder was how someone could decide to hate someone the moment they're born.

Exhaustion finally caught up with him. He decided it was time to go home. It was getting late anyway.


	2. Chapter 2: iWant the Truth

This is more of a filler chapter, I apologize for the shortness. I was more worried today about my car today (it's making jumbling feelings whenever it's idle, but no noises. Poor Heidi!), and my new glasses broke so I had to wear my old ones (that don't have my current prescription so they were giving me a headache). But at least my glasses are fixed so hopefully I can get more done! Thanks to everyone who commented and alerted this story :)

***

"Freddie Benson! Where have you been?! It's past your bed time!"

"Sorry, Mom. I had to take Sam home from the dentist." Freddie's explanation was abnormally calm. He didn't even comment on how eight thirty was an unreasonable bed time for a boy his age. This didn't go unnoticed by his mom.

"Freddie? Is everything all right?"

His mind had been plagued by that blond-headed demon who was practically crying when he left her. Aside from thinking about her mother, Freddie wondered where her father went. She seemed to have absolutely no idea, so he obviously hadn't kept in any contact with her.

Without meaning to, Freddie flashed back to when he was about five or six years old. All the kids at school were talking about their dads and their jobs. When he got home that day, he asked his mom where his dad was. He'd never remembered having a dad at all. The only answer he'd gotten was a tear-filled "he left." Since then Freddie was too afraid to ask that question again. He didn't want to upset his mom anymore. But now, he felt like he had to know.

"Mom, what ever happened to my dad?"

Shock took over Ms. Benson's face for a moment before she gently placed a hand on her son's shoulder. She knew this day would come again sooner or later.

"Well, before you were born, your dad and I had a baby girl, Isabelle. A lot of parents we knew would complain about being woken up so early in the morning by their kids, but we couldn't wait to be woken up by her. But one morning, she didn't wake up.

It nearly destroyed both of us, but after grieving we decided to try and have another baby. I think maybe he was hoping for another girl to try and replace that gap Isabelle left. So when the doctor told us that you were a boy, he... he took his own life." Her voice was shaky but she held back the tears. It wasn't her son's fault that any of this happened, and she wasn't about to do anything to make him feel like it was.

Freddie couldn't help but wonder yet again how someone could decide how to feel about another person before they even know them. So just because he was a boy meant he didn't deserve any of his father's love?

But even though he was now resentful of his deceased father, he was thankful that he at least had the unconditional love of his mother. Sam wasn't as fortunate. Freddie then felt something for Sam he thought he'd never feel for the blond: pity. The only family she had who might show her any love at all was her sister (and even then he didn't actually know).

Maybe he could do something nice for Sam, something to show her that she's at least loved by her friends. But he wasn't entirely sure how to do that. And he was too tired to try and figure any of that out now, he needed sleep. He looked back up at his mother's very concerned eyes.

"Thanks for telling me the truth, Mom. I'm going to go to bed now."

Ms. Benson just nodded, still worried and unsure of how the truth was affecting him. But before he went into his room, Freddie gave her a tight hug.

"I love you, Mom."

A smile appeared on her face and shook away some of the worry. She still had no idea what had brought all of this on, but maybe, just this once she should let Freddie have his reasons and not bother him.

"I love you too, Freddie. Now go brush your teeth! Cavity free is the way to be!"

Freddie couldn't help but laugh a little at this before he walked into his room.


End file.
